If you’re a human living on planet Earth, you’ve probably heard the tragic news about Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris. They are done. Splitskies. The world is crying because apparently everyone on the internet is close personal friends with the two and are legitimately heartbroken that the lovebirds couldn’t make it last forever.
Meanwhile, some of us sane people are over here shaking our heads at the whole to-do.
Listen, I’m a T. Swift fan. I spent way too much money to see her sing and dance on stage last year. I own all of her albums except the first one which I’ve been meaning to get for years but you know, I’m busy. I think she’s a talented songwriter, a savvy businesswoman, and an overall good person. I don’t know much about Calvin Harris outside of the fact that he looks great without a shirt and his name isn’t actually Calvin Harris. I think he is a DJ. I think that DJs “make beats,” but I can’t be too certain. But that is neither here nor there.
My confusion lies in the world’s obsession with celebrities and their personal, private lives. Unless you are one of the lucky few like Abigail (Taylor’s non-famous BFF), you probably don’t know these celebrities that you fawn over on a personal level. Yes, we know that celebrities are people. We know, theoretically, that blood courses through their veins as it does ours. We know — though don’t often think about — that they take shits and showers and that they get stuff stuck in their teeth and that they’ve probably all picked their noses at some point. But we don’t know them on a real, personal level.
I am a big fan of certain celebrities. I do not deny that I spend way too much time reading and watching interviews of my favorite celebrities. It’s a favorite pastime of mine. I have no qualms admitting this. However, I do not spend inordinate amounts of time and an ungodly number of emojis tweeting my opinions about said celebrities’ personal lives. I do not debate with strangers on the internet what the cause of a celebrity breakup could have been. I don’t compare that celebrity’s relationship with my relationships because, well, I don’t really know what that celebrity’s relationship was like outside of social media and nasty TMZ photos. Thus, I don’t feel like someone has punched me in the gut when my fave celebrity power couple dissolves.
Yet it seems like so many people are piping in with their opinions about this breakup. This isn’t the first time this has happened — see J. Biebs and Selena or Ben and Jen for recent examples — and sadly it won’t be the last.
Why are we so obsessed with the personal lives of celebrities?
Some matters are private and probably only made worse by hoards of busybodies sticking their noses where they don’t belong. You could make the point that celebrities choose to be public figures and thus choose for their personal lives to be on display. This is true — to a degree. I totally agree that singers and actors give up a certain amount of privacy to simply be in the position they are in. If you want fame and wealth, there is a price. But their personal, private relationships with their family, friends, and significant others should stay that. Personal and private. It should be up to that celebrity how much they are willing to disclose on the matter.
There are some celebrities who don’t seem to mind their children being photographed and those photographs making their way to the internet. But there are other celebrities who are very against this. And I think that’s a right that every human has.
Throughout their relationship, T. Swift and C. Harris (Talvin? Caylor? Did we pick up a name for this duo?) have kept a pretty low profile. There were some photos shared on Instagram, but generally they both kept their relationship away from the public eye. I think we should give them the respect that they deserve as humans and back the hell off a little bit. Imagine ending a relationship that you’ve been in for over a year and having literally millions of people weigh in with their thoughts. It’s hard enough to go through a breakup without all that.
And then there’s the fact that it’s literally no one else’s business. Ok. I’m done. *drops mic*